


No Match

by allbiaswrecked



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: BFF!Kaisoo, Baekhyun - Freeform, EXO - Freeform, KaiSoo - Freeform, Kyungsoo - Freeform, M/M, Sehun - Freeform, jongin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 02:24:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17820002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allbiaswrecked/pseuds/allbiaswrecked
Summary: "The pair of brown eyes that seemed to be everything he has been longing for, the stare that digs deep through his soul, the look that made him feel okay even when he is not even close to being fine, was the same pair of brown eyes that has been oblivious to the real mess going on inside of his head."-





	No Match

The silence was deafening. All he can hear was a hushed noise beside him. He knew then that it came from his blockmates who seemed to be unbothered by his presence. It was exactly 5:30pm in Jongin’s watch, and he is supposed to be home by now. He finished his final exams earlier, but he wanted to stay a little bit longer. Whether it was the results, the final grades, or his messed up feelings, he knew deep within that he feels incomplete, or empty to say the least.

Mere words cannot describe how he is feeling right now, but one song felt like it knew how to. He untangles his earphones, and listens to _Hug Me_ by Jung Joon Il, his personal favorite. As if each note were tied to his heart, he sings to it gently; silently wishing he could describe his feelings the same way the song does.

Jongin was in too deep with the song when he felt a familiar presence beside him. The smell of ethyl alcohol mixed with the sweet scent of his favorite hand cream already gave away a lot of clues as to who is next to him. “Kyungsoo,” he muttered with his eyes closed.

“Are you ready to go?” Kyungsoo asked softly as he tries to fix the chaos inside his bag. “Yeah, what took you so long anyway?” Jongin pulled his earphones out before glancing at Kyungsoo. It was not his intention to stay late at all. He even remembers wanting to binge watch The Return of the Superman. But choosing Kyungsoo over his favorite shows is something he often does—even when he knows it’s one-sided.

”What do you think?” Kyungsoo stood up, gesturing for Jongin to start walking. “Is it that professor again? I swear all he does is give us reasons not to go to school.” Jongin rolled his eyes, adjusting the volume of his music player. “Where are we going, by the way?” He mumbled. “Where do you want to go?” Kyungsoo stopped on his tracks and shifted his direction to Jongin. “Why do you keep on answering my questions with a question?” Jongin grumbled. “Oh, looks like my Jongin woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.” The older teased softly. Kyungsoo knows that something was off with Jongin today, and he didn’t want the younger to lose it. Not when he is feeling a little cheerful.

Jongin snorted upon hearing Kyungsoo’s words. _”My Jongin? You don’t even realized that you are the reason for all these.”_ He scoffed mentally. Jongin has the habit of smiling and waving enthusiastically to the school guards. _They sacrifice so much_ is what he always reckon. But today was different. He smiled small, and waved almost indistinctly.

“What’s up with our Jongin today?” Junmyeon—one of Jongin’s guard friends—wondered. “Hello, Junmyeon hyung. It’s nothing. Maybe I’m just tired. You know, finals.” Jongin politely explained. “Thanks for asking, though, hyung.” Kyungsoo and Jongin continued to walk out of the main building.

The sky was painted with shades of pink and purple. Their university is in the middle of the city, which is why ambulance sirens and constant honking filled the area. But at this point, Jongin’s mind wandered around. The ambience looked so nice, calming his irked mood. Every moment with Kyungsoo is truly a rollercoaster ride.

“Hello?” Jongin was snatched back to reality when Kyungsoo waved his hand in front of Jongin’s face. He did not realize that he has been zoning out for a while that he was not able to pay attention to what Kyungsoo was telling. “Oh, sorry,” he smiled weakly. “So, you were saying?” Jongin replied with his eyes downcast. He started to fiddle with his fingernails just to contain his nervousness. “I was asking you what’s up. It’s like we had a lunch date yesterday. You were beaming at basically everyone, and then now it’s the complete opposite. Are you really okay?” Kyungsoo said in a curious tone. Jongin looked at him with an obvious sad smile. He knows he is far from fine. And it’s all because of the person in front of him. “Actually, you know what, I don’t know either. I just had these thoughts running in mind,” he began truthfully. “Like, how can someone make you happy and sad all at the same time?” mused Jongin. “Is this about Sehun and Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo faltered, making sure he wouldn’t make the situation more awkward if in case it was the reason. “I’ve noticed too. They have been going out for a couple of days now. But you know, they are just friends. I still ship you with Sehun.” He continued, making an effort to sound reassuring. “You really push me to like Sehun every chance you get. You know very well that I don’t like him anymore. It was just a little crush. But it faded when I get to know him. He’s more like a friend to me. A brother, even.” Jongin asserted irritably. ”He’s more like a friend to me. A brother, even.” Kyungsoo mocked. “Let’s just find a bench. We could sit there and wait for the opening of the Christmas lights.” He beckoned.

Jongin followed shortly right after Kyungsoo started walking towards a bench right under the lanterns. They have a perfect view of the main building that will be adorned with lights at 6pm. It was already 5:56pm in Jongin’s watch, and then he began to realize that the both of them have been silent for a short while. “Jongin, what are you thinking about right now?” Kyungsoo asked with a fond look. “Nothing in particular. Academics, dancing, music career, and maybe how to be the person the person I like, likes.” Jongin groaned. Kyungsoo is dense, that’s for sure. But he knows as well that they could have had the chance, if only he was not a coward in the first place. Jongdae—Jongin’s best friend—has been very firm with his advice to step up, and that life never stops for anyone. But Jongin never listened. He was scared. He has lost a lot of people who were dear to him just because of his stupid feelings. If he could spare Kyungsoo from the pain of falling in love and falling out of it by staying at a friendship level, he would do it. Even when it hurts to look at the person he loves so much love another, he’d be okay with it, just as long as Kyungsoo is happy. “I am actually thinking about the same thing, except that I am not thinking about the person I like. Love is a gift, you know. Take it when you have it, and say _thank you, come again_ when it’s time for it to leave.” Kyungsoo put out. “But aren’t you and Baekhyun a thing? How can you not think of him? Honestly, you look good together. Talk of the town. A match made in heaven.” Jongin queried. Although Baekhyun’s name tasted bitter on his mouth, he meant his words more seriously than it sounded. “But have you ever heard of the famous singer’s line, “Don’t ever treat a person as if he is your world. Just make that person a small part of it, instead.”” Kyungsoo asked. “That’s Kim Minseok, isn’t it?” Jongin pointed out. “He’s my favorite singer at the moment, by the way. His songs are on fire. You know, Hey Mama? Amazing.” He babbled. “Yes, Kim Minseok. Baekhyun likes Kim Minseok’s Hey Mama too. I think you and Baekhyun would be fast friends. You actually have a lot in common.” Kyungsoo beamed. Jongin’s smile, on the other hand, faltered and then faded. Every time Baekhyun becomes their main topic, Kyungsoo never fails to compare the both of them. And every time, it never fails to irk Jongin as well. “Okay, okay, enough of Baekhyun.” He heaved a sigh.

The clock stroked 6:00pm, and their surroundings turned into a little Winter Wonderland. The incandescent light from the lanterns above them gave a warm glow on Kyungsoo’s face as his eyes wandered around the beauty that is currently surrounding him. _”He is so beautiful,”_ Jongin thought to himself. The spotlights gave the trees a unique glimmer making them look as if they are filled with starlight. The pavement reflected the iridescent glow from the streetlamps that were adorned with Christmas garlands and balls. And just then, while all the people adored the scenic wonder, there was a momentary hint of white and gray, bits by bits. Snow began to fall straight and steadily from the blue sky. “This is a fairytale world.” Kyungsoo breathed. “It’s amazing, Jongin.” He glanced at Jongin who, at that time, was already staring at him with eyes full of something he cannot recognize. Jongin is falling in love even more—with the man in front of him, and the scenery. “I have to agree with that. It’s like an episode in a K-drama where two protagonists enjoyed the first snow together before deciding to confess their feelings for each other.” Jongin said in a voice soft with affection. “Except that we have nothing to confess to one another.” He countered. Kyungsoo smiled at Jongin. He has never seen the look in Jongin’s eyes before. Something was up, he was sure of it. But he just cannot pinpoint the exact reason. The longing mixed with sadness in Jongin’s eyes was something he hated to see, because it makes him want to do something only to be reminded that he will never be capable of filling the void somewhere in the younger’s heart—or that’s what he likes to think. Because in all honesty, he was everything Jongin needed. He is just too blind to overlook the emotionless façade Jongin is showing. “Let’s take a walk, shall we?” Kyungsoo tried to shake off his thoughts. “Good thing, I brought hot packs with me. Here, put some inside your coat’s pockets.” He handed over two hot packs to the latter.

The pavement was turning white, and the glistening lampposts illumined each snowflake. The cold winter breeze gently touched Jongin’s face, as if telling him that they’ve walked too far from where they’ve been. They were quiet the whole time—Jongin constantly fighting with his thoughts, and Kyungsoo absentmindedly making Jongin want him more. It was getting a bit colder that time, and a layer of single pullover and coat did not provide enough warmth. Silence has never been this loud before. The noises of the busy streets seem to be too weak to overpower it. Jongin then decided to shoot up uneasily at Kyungsoo’s direction. The older glanced back, giving him the same look as if they were about to reveal something to each other. “I have to tell you something.” Both said in unison. “Actually, go ahead. Mine is not important anyway.” Jongin insisted. He needed more time to build up his courage. This is his moment, he thinks to himself. There is no turning back. “Jongin…” Kyungsoo hesitated. Jongin, on the other hand, feels like he knows where this is heading. Maybe Kyungsoo never really liked Baekhyun. Maybe it was him all along. Or at least, that’s what he wants to believe. _”Here goes nothing.”_ He told himself. “I’ve been wanting to tell you this.” Kyungsoo bit his lower lip, quite afraid to continue. _”Please just spill it already. I know you like me, hyung. Please.”_ Jongin’s heartbeat raced faster and faster as words begin to leave Kyungsoo’s mouth. “Baekhyun asked me out last week for a movie date. I figured maybe you want to come with us? I really need you as my wingman. You know me best, Jongin. Please?” Kyungsoo babbled, and just then, Jongin’s mind went black. It was as if the words that came from those heart-shaped lips caused his whole body to shut down completely. He heard a constant ringing, and he suddenly went to a trip down memory lane. He remembered when he first met Kyungsoo, how Jongin tried to make him smile just because the older one never even showed his teeth, how he tried to cook Jjajangmyeon for Kyungsoo when he told Jongin that he can’t seem to live without it, and how Jongin would constantly write about Kyungsoo even when he knows that Kyungsoo hates to read.

A part of him wanted to laugh at Kyungsoo for making a dumb joke. _”Why would Baekhyun ask him out? He can’t even look at Kyungsoo in the eye.”_ He thought. But a part of him wanted to just run away at this very instance. _”He is being an ass. He should have known by now that I like him, and he wanted me to get rid of these feelings the soonest. Maybe I could just ignore him forever. People hate being ignored. Especially forever.”_ He countered. “Jongin?” Kyungsoo lowered himself to be able to meet Jongin’s gaze, which was fixated on the ground. “I can’t do this.” Jongin shut his eyes closed. “What do you mean you can’t do this?” Kyungsoo’s smile faltered. _”Don’t let it slip, Jongin. Don’t let it go. He doesn’t like you.”_ Jongin stared intently on Kyungsoo’s eyes. The pair of brown eyes that seemed to be everything he has been longing for, the stare that digs deep through his soul, the look that made him feel okay even when he is not even close to being fine, was the same pair of brown eyes that has been oblivious to the real mess going on inside of his head. Tears started to form at the back of Jongin’s eyes to which he quickly brushed away. “I can’t be your wingman this time. You have to man up. If you really like Baekhyun that much, then at least build up the courage you need. I can’t just stay behind you and catch you whenever you feel like you don’t know what to do. Hyung, you are an amazing person. You have such beautiful soul. And I am lucky to have a friend like you. I wish Baekhyun would realize that eventually.” Jongin heaved a sigh. It was cold, but Jongin felt like he was burning—burning because of pain, burning because of too much selflessness, burning because he can’t stand being just a friend to a person he loves the most.

Kyungsoo did not know what to react then. He felt grateful that he has a friend like Jongin, but a part of him wants to just call it off with Baekhyun. He has Jongin, and he knows that this guy in front of him had been very supportive ever since. He was able to find the warmth he needed, he was able to get himself his own favorite person, and he was able to meet a person with genuine intentions. He likes Jongin, that’s for sure, but he couldn’t seem to bring himself to tell Jongin that. To him, Jongin is better off with Sehun. Jongin will be happier with Sehun. There are times when he would just invite Jongin over just because he wants to be with him. He knows that everything felt nicer with Jongin in it. He knows deep inside that he was able to find someone he genuinely wants to keep. And he knows that Jongin was more than just a friend to him. But he was just too scared to entertain the feeling that creeps down his spine whenever he’s with him. If he could spend his entire life with Jongin as a friend, he would rather choose that than to lose him eventually. Kyungsoo held Jongin’s hand. He hates to say this, but he has to, so as not to give Jongin hints about what he really feels. “I am grateful to have a friend like you, Jongin. Thank you so much.” He pulled Jongin into a hug. He wanted to tell him how much he’s afraid to lose him, how much he loves him, and how much he wants to stop Jongin from liking Sehun. But he did not realize that it was him—the one Jongin truly likes. Jongin’s tears, on the other hand, streamed down unceasingly. At the end of it all, he was just a friend to Kyungsoo—or that’s what he knows.

Jongin broke out of the hug first. He looked down and immediately wiped away his tears. But Kyungsoo was quick to react. He offered his handkerchief to Jongin, still clueless as to why Jongin suddenly cried. “I knew you weren’t okay. Why did you cry? I was just thanking you.” He joked, not knowing that he was the reason. “No, I’m fine. I just can’t believe I’m giving my favorite person away. I really hope Baekhyun would treat you well. You look great together.” Jongin winced at the thought. “You look good with Sehun, too. You know.” Kyungsoo faked a smile. Hearing Kyungsoo mention Sehun’s name made Jongin emotional again. He wanted so badly to get out of there. He can’t stand having an emotional breakdown in front of Kyungsoo. He didn’t want to feel weak. He didn’t want to feel bad. _Kyungsoo must be so happy right now. I can’t ruin this day for him._ He thought. “I have to go now, hyung. I still have to wait for my bus. I don’t want to wait another hour for it. Take care, okay?” Jongin handed back the handkerchief and immediately turned his back on Kyungsoo. He didn’t give him the chance to speak. He walked fast, with tears continuously falling down, mind clouded with different emotions. He loved Kyungsoo, too much to say the least. But he can only keep that to himself for now, because Kyungsoo likes Baekhyun, and Jongin believes that he has no match for Baekhyun.

Kyungsoo stood there, watching as Jongin’s silhouette began to disappear. He tried to remember what happened. Jongin was about to tell him something, but he was too dumbfounded by Baekhyun’s invitation. _”I failed. I failed as a friend.”_ Kyungsoo thought. _”What if he was about to tell me he likes me too? What if I was not too stupid to realize that?”_ Kyungsoo shook his head, and sigh. “Maybe not. I have no match for Sehun.” He looked ahead one last time, and turned to the opposite direction.

**Author's Note:**

> I woke up today and felt the drive to finish this today. This should have been posted last January 1, but unfortunately, I lost my muse that time because of some circumstances. BUT HERE IT IS!! I know it has been long overdue, but I still hope you guys would enjoy <3 kamsabnithanks <3 I would like to thank my friends as well, KM and AS for helping me in the course of writing this one hella fanfic!! much love, j.


End file.
